2016 marks the 10 year anniversary for our Average Joe Race and we expect this year to be awesome! Don’t wait till the day of the race to register. There will be a cap of 350 participants this year. Online registration will end on Wed July 13.
- Online registration is still open until July 13. Price will be $40 day of registration
This is a Rain or Shine Event with No Refunds.
Other logistics: no open containers outside our beer garden, especially while on the race course and since we are Colorado-it is illegal to smoke weed or consume such products in public. There, we said it and it is every individuals responsibility to abide. Thanks
The Pagosa Springs CRUISE-A-THONg is a Race for the Average Jo(e). It is a triathlon designed for the not-so-hardcore athlete in all of us! Like a triathlon, the course consists of three legs: however ours is a bit more relaxed!
1) First, a cruiser bike ride (or other self-propelled method of transportation) loop from Town Park
2) Next, a thong (that is to say flip-flop) walk through downtown Pagosa Springs
3) Lastly, a tube float (or other floatation device) down the San Juan River
The “race” is a one-of-a-kind, do not miss event. Why? Because unlike the Ironman, regular people actually have a chance at winning*! You may question how this could be, as you are just an average Jo(e) Six-Pack with no exceptional athletic aptitude? Well, this race rewards being average. The winner is the “Jo(e)” that posts the most average time (that is the mean, not median or mode, though these numerical positions often receive recognition as well). In addition, scoring by somewhat capricious judges may also take into account bonus points for consumption of edibles, gears on the race bike in excess of one, any sandals lost during the race, or any other element that makes a participant more or less average. The course will be closed after 3 hours.
If you are not yet convinced this race was made for you, you would be happy to know that there are comfort stations – notice they are not “aid” stations- along the way. These stations provide race participants with high caloric value snacks and simple carbohydrates to keep the participants on course. These locally sponsored comfort stations will be positioned strategically along the course to provide support, comfort, and maybe a bit of song and dance for participants during the event. Of course, the event organizers want to make sure that participants are not over-exerted during the completion of this demanding don’t-try-athalon.
In order to assure a level playing field for the determination of which participant is actually most average, there are SIX SACRED RULES by which participants must abide, listed below in no particular order:
- All participants must start (and finish) with an equal number of thongs as they have feet. Any thongs lost during the race will result in a point deduction for the participant and a severe scolding about the horrors of littering.
- “Tubes” are considered any inflatable device that lacks a method of propulsion besides the body parts of the rider; creativity in this category is encouraged and rewarded.
- The “cruiser” ride may be completed on any wheeled and human-powered device. In the past this often materializes as a single speed ‘cruiser bike,’ but by no means is the race segment limited to this simple (yet ingenious) mode of transportation. It is worth noting that participants with more than one gear will be penalized accordingly (and calorically).
- Flip-flops (thongs) are defined as any footwear that does not have a heel strap.
- Participants can wear as little or as much clothing as desired (though we encourage consideration of all relevant laws). This may include a costume (designed, borrowed, found, or reclaimed). However, every participant’s event-issued identification sweat band*** must be visible at all times and at completion of the course.
- Finally,(drum-roll, please): this event is designed to be the funnest thing you will do this summer. If it appears to the unqualified judges as if a participant’s fun-o-meter dips below average during this event, said participant will be given an initial tongue lashing as a warning. If the dysfunction of the participants fun-o-meter persists, said participant may be recommended for disqualification or fined excessively (and calorically).
IMPORTANT LOGISTICS!! Don’t forget to pre register online until July 13. Click Here
Please cruise responsibly!! There are no open containers allowed during the race—you could be cited or fined by local authorities. All children 12 years or under MUST wear a floatation device (PFD) at all times while floating in the river. We also strongly encourage you to wear a helmet!
Tubes and PFD’s are available to rent from Pagosa Outside, Pagosa Mountain Sports, or Summit Ski and Sport. However, there will be an award for the most creative flotation device, amongst other awards for exceptional stylistic additions.